Fuck me…
You’ll have to forgive my constant depression.
I’m trying not to make things that are going on worse by posting them to Facebook like I would normally.
Anyway…
Last night I couldn’t sleep again. I ended up driving to Jessica’s at one in the morning and staying over there. Just left early for work so I wouldn’t be late.
God… I woke up in tears again, my head killing me.
Drove to work wanting to go back to bed.
Was pretending to be fine till you texted me.
And then
I fell apart.
The little jabs at me hurt.
But ya know what hurts more?
The fact that now, when it’s to late to matter, you show me emotions.
When it would have mattered you showed none, just a flat tone when you did talk.
And ya know what?
I just barley kept my promise, the one about not saying anything about us.
The problem is, something you don’t know, tomorrow, when you get that package from me, it’ll break that promise.
Truth is, that note I said was in there, the one in the card tat I didn’t want you to read near your mother. In it, I poor out my heart…
It’ll be too little too late I suppose… Unless by some miracle you change your mind… Which I still pray for that to happen…
It’s a long shot.
But I can’t help it.
I love you.
That I can’t help nor change.
And guess what?
No matter how much it hurts, it’s something I wouldn’t want to change.
